Energy-Saving News

7 Deadly Sins v Climate Change: Dante’s Guide To Saving The Planet

Posted on 27. Oct, 2009 by Ross in Climate Change

It’s official: the Devil doesn’t like climate change. Makes sense really: Hell’s already hot enough as it is, so just imagine how unpleasant it’ll get with a extra 4ºC temperature rise.

Luckily, the Devil’s tools for corrupting mankind will also save him from excessively hot summers - although I’m sure that he won’t mind all the extra extreme weather patterns lining up to cause chaos this side of the afterlife. Here’s how the Seven Deadly Sins will help us all to fight climate change…

Sloth

Sloth is the ultimate deadly sin climate change killer. Nearly everything we do consumes energy - working, travelling, playing, socialising, even just being alive! The less we do, the less energy our lives consume, shrinking our personal carbon footprints.

On a day-to-day level, harness the laziness inside you to increase your energy efficiency too. Don’t be in such a rush to get to work in the morning and drive a bit slower to save fuel and carbon emissions.

Greed

Energy efficiency isn’t just about saving the planet - using less energy reduces you household bills too. Drive slower and more intelligently to stop burning bank notes through your exhaust pipe. Use low-energy lighting, more efficient appliances and turn off your computers when not in use. Embrace your inner miser and stop sending your hard-earned cash to the power companies, coal miners and oil drillers. It’s your money. Keep it. Get Greedy.

Wrath

Mildly annoyed at the sight of mountain tops being blasted apart for more coal? Partially riled by your new computer operating system thinks that a more efficient computer is one that dims the screen whilst not in use rather than switching it off? Feel slightly irate when preachy pop stars tell you to use less whilst prancing about on a massive stage lit by enough lights to be seen from space?

See greenwash. Get angry. Let your Wrath guide your purchasing patterns and shun those who believe green should only be skin deep. Take your fury to work and berate your bosses for not investing in insulation, energy-efficient lighting, improved heating systems and more efficient computers. Let your ire burn like the sun as you unleash your Wrath against those who would pollute their way to riches, rewards and stardom.

Envy

See your neighbour across the road with the shiny new solar panels? He’s saving thousands of pounds a year on his energy bills. As for the latest celebrity to buy a Tesla: they get to save the environment, make members of the opposite sex swoon with desire and drive faster than you too!

People who are taking action against climate change are richer, smarter, happier people than you. Act on your Envy and join the ranks of the beautiful people!

Pride

So you’ve just installed some shiny new solar panels on your roof, or bought a sexy electric roadster? Don’t become the shy, retiring type: tell everyone about it. The whole damned world. Boast to the high heavens about how you energy bills have dropped with the latest low-energy lighting. Brag about your latest energy-efficient wide-screen television. Bore people to tears about the fuel economy of your new family hybrid SUV.

People will hate you for your Pride, but they will also be filled with envy. Stoke desire in your associates for the green life you live and watch the spread of the green Pride deadly sin virus. Take Pride in being Green and turn others Green with Envy.

Gluttony

If Pride and Envy work well together in a deadly sin double-whammy, then Gluttony multiplies their power to form an unholy triumvirate of climate-change-fighting sinfulness.

But how? Surely Gluttony is the one sin which drives climate change in the first place? Our never-ending desire to consume more, own more and waste more is the bloated beating heart of Western industrial consumerism, so how can the source of our carbon woes become our saviour?

Decoupling your consumerism from your carbon footprint is the answer. Once you house is covered by solar panels, with a wind turbine in the garden and a biomass burner in the shed, feel free to buy the biggest television possible and leave it on all day. Turn the thermostat right up on your heating and burn holes into the retinas of passing Martians with your Christmas illuminations. Guilt-free Gluttony is just a renewable energy source or two away.

That won’t prevent climate change in itself, but it will magnify the power of Pride and Envy when your neighbours see you watching The Day After Tomorrow on your 99′ screen whilst their smart meters are nagging them about their own energy consumption!

Lust

Sharing body heat is more environmentally friendly than a hot water bottle, and…

… oh, let’s not kid ourselves! Lust is the one deadly sin which didn’t get the memo on fighting climate change. Growing populations continue to put ever-increasing burdens on our natural resources, consuming more energy and emitting more carbon dioxide. Adultery is a prime cause of divorce, leading to broken homes which are less efficient than single households.

When it comes down to carbon, nothing positive ever comes from having sex! However, if you don’t feel like prioritising any of the other deadly sins and feel like Lust is the one for you, at least try to give a lick of green paint to your dalliances, whether you use low-carbon condoms, eco-lubricants or are just looking for a discount by riding you bike to a brothel!

Images from roblisameehan, publicdomainphotos, samdecle, roland, leejordan and ochus b @ Flickr

Thought of a way that Lust can help fight climate change? Maybe got an idea how another of the seven deadly sins can fight climate change? Why not share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Tags: Climate Change